My Perspective- Melissa

My grief began on 05-16-2016 when I lost my son Dajon Lamar Vanorsby. He was 19. For the sake of this entry, I will refer to him as Lamar.

Ever since that day, I have been struggling to understand life, to understand this unfamiliar person who stares back at me every time I look in the mirror. Five years later and I am still in denial. I still talk about him often, and although tears don’t fill my eyes every time I say his name, they most definitely fill my heart.

For the first three years, I went to a grief group with people who were like me; all of them had lost a child or children, and all their children had lost a sibling. It was always disheartening to see another family come through those doors. A constant reminder of how grief knows no color, no gender, no age, or no financial bracket. We were all there together, all at different stages of our grief, but we were there.

I still have nightmares (and sometimes “day” mares) of the night I lost Dajon. My relationships with people closest to me have changed and unfortunately not for the better. Grief changes you. It will fully engulf you and morph you into someone you do not recognize. It will steal moments of your life you will never get back. Consequently, it will also put a smile on your face from time to time when you remember how much you love the person who is no longer physically here.

To remember those memories you were able to make while they were still physically on earth no matter how long or short of a time it was, can be the best and the worst.